All I Ever Wanted
by eyesofgarnet
Summary: So what if he's wanted every girl that Finn has dated.  Rachel is different.


**A/N**: filled for a drabble meme over at puckrachel on LJ.  
The prompt:  
_Let me paint a picture for ya, babe  
You spend your nights alone  
But he never comes home  
And every time you call all you gets a busy tone  
- Are you sure that's what you want, Berry? _

* * *

She's pissed. Puck can tell the second he hears her banging on his front door, for such a little thing she makes an awful lot of noise. He knows why she's there too, it explains the knocking and the fact that's two am and she doesn't care that his mom and his sister are sleeping. Normal Rachel would be extremely considerate of the fact that his mother had only gotten home a few short hours ago from work. This Rachel, a very pissed off Rachel, doesn't care if she wakes up the entire neighborhood.

Before heading downstairs to answer the door he throws on a pair of sweatpants, he caught the way Rachel was staring at him in his boxers last time she showed up like this and he really doesn't need any more shit from Finn then he already gets. He's not sure that he can control himself either if Rachel decided to throw herself at him one of these times. They've just gotten over the fact that he knocked up his best friend's girlfriend last year; he doesn't need him hating him from stealing another girl. Though this time he's basically asking for it, since Finn is the reason Rachel always shows up to begin with.

When he reaches the door she's still banging away, calling his name her pissed off little diva voice that kind of turns him on a little (though he'd never admit that). He rubs the sleep from his eyes before he answers, yawning when he finally gets the door open (what? It's late).

"What did Saint Finn do this time, Berry?" He asks when he gets the door open.

She's standing there with red eyes and tears streaking down her face in his (not Finn's) McKinley football sweater and a pair of black yoga pants. It makes his heart jump a little. So maybe he does want this girl too, but for so many different reasons than why he wanted Quinn. Quinn was a conquest, just so he could say he fucked the head cheerleader behind the star quarterback's back. Rachel is different. She did things to him, made him feel things that no other girl had. Rachel was endgame for him, they both knew this, but avoided it at all costs.

"He's not answering his phone again," she sobbed, pushing past him into the house.

Puck watches her walk into the living room and flop down on the couch. He heads in the other direction, going to the kitchen and grabbing two waters out of the fridge before joining her. When he sits down on the couch she's on his lap in a second, lacing her arms around his neck and burying her face into his neck. He can feel her tears against his skin. It makes him angry. Finn always got the girls he never deserved and he's wasting another good relationship.

He doesn't say anything because he really doesn't know what to say. He would defend Finn, like he has every time Rachel had shown up at his door since last summer but this time he doesn't really want too. This time he really doesn't have an answer either.

Rachel can sense his uncertainty and a hint of the anger he's trying to hide. She pulls away from him and slips from his lap back onto the couch beside him.

"We were supposed to go out to dinner tonight," Rachel begins to explain. She tries to reach up and wipe the tears away that are falling freely from her eyes but her hands are lost in the arms of his sweater. "He was supposed to pick me up at seven. I sat and waited for him until eight and when he still hadn't shown up or called I tried calling him and all I got was a busy signal on the house phone and his cell went straight to voicemail. This is the third time this week! I thought he wanted me. I thought he loved me. I thought—" Her words are cut short by a sob that escapes her lips.

Puck reaches up and runs his hand through his hair. He'd been getting this gut feeling that Finn could possibly be cheating on her for the past few months but he's never said anything. He didn't want to get his ass chewed out if he was wrong. It'd make him look like a total douche and he knows that Finn sees the way they look at each other sometimes.

"Are you going to say anything!" Rachel's shrill voice breaks through his thoughts of trying to figure out exactly who Finn is sleeping with instead of the beautiful girl sitting next to him.

"What do you want me to say?" Puck asks. "I don't know where he is, and if I did do you think I would actually tell you?"

"Yes, you would tell me, Noah, because unlike the rest of our friends you're actually honest with me when it comes to Finn."

She's right. Though he does it solely because he wants her, he's also the only one that refuses to live in the fantasy that the rest their friends have built up around the couple.

Puck turns his body to face her and takes her face into his hands, fixing her head so that she's looking up at him. "Let me paint a picture for ya, babe. You spend your nights alone, or here knocking on my door at all hours of the morning. He's never around anymore. The only time he looks at you is when he sees me looking at you. And every time you call him it goes straight to voicemail. When was the last time he really kissed you? And I mean like really kissed you; put his whole body into it? When the last time you two actually went on a date?"

Rachel's eyes widen at his words, and she tries to push the thoughts away from her mind that they created. "What are you trying to say, Noah?"

Puck pushes himself up off the couch and begins to pace in front of her. Does she actually expect him to paint a bigger picture for her? He'd do it, don't get him wrong, he'd do anything to make this girl his, but he doesn't want to hurt her either.

"Noah?" Her tiny voice reaches him and he stops and looks to see the fresh tears in her eyes. He hates those tears and what they do to him.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Berry? Do you want to sit home alone all the time wondering where he is or who he's with? That's not much of a relationship if you ask me." He's angry now because she's not getting it, and he doesn't care if she knows it. She needs a wake-up call and if he has to be the one to do it he will. Let her be hurt or mad, he's more than willing to pick up the pieces afterwards. He's more than willing to do anything for this girl.

Rachel tugs at the end of her sweater, she's angry now too. She doesn't know who she's angry at, Finn for doing this to her or Puck for making her think about it. All she knows is she's angry. "What do you know about relationships, Noah? All you do is sleep around and try and steal your best friend's girlfriends from him."

"It's not stealing if she wants me too." He's in her face now, kneeling down in front of her and taking her hands in his. Puck's not sure how this suddenly became about them but he doesn't care. It needs to go there.

"This isn't about us." Rachel tries to remind him. She knows that if they go down this road there is no turning back.

"Like hell it isn't. This turned into us when you started showing up at my house whenever Hudson fucked up. I can't stand by and watch him fuck up anymore. I'm sick of it. You deserve better."

"And what's better, Noah? You?"

He ignores her question and reaches up to take her face in his hands once again. "You know I'm not good at this shit. So I'm going to do the one thing I know I'm good at. If you don't feel anything fine, I'll leave you alone." With that he crushed her lips with his, and waited, expecting her to push him away, slap him and run out the door.

She doesn't push him away though. Rachel pulls him towards her so that he's practically on top of her. She's kissing him back like she needs him to breath, running her hands up and down his bare back and digging her nails into his shoulders when her hands finally rest there.

He's the one that stops when a hint of doubt enters his mind that she's only doing this because she misses Finn.

"What's wrong?" She asks as he pulls away and sits on the floor in front of her.

"I can't do this," he confesses, pulling himself up and heading towards the stairs up to his room. He needs to put some distance in between them before he does anything he regrets. He wouldn't care if this was any other girl, but this is Rachel. He doesn't want to put her in this position.

His back is to her when she calls out to him. "You felt it too. Didn't you?" She's referring to the electricity that coursed through her body the second their lips touched.

"I feel it all the time." He starts up the stairs and stops about half way up, turning around to finally face her. "You can stay if you want. My mom won't care."

Rachel gets up from the couch and shakes her head. "Thanks for the offer, but there's something I have to do. I'll call you later."

Puck stands there watching her leave, regretting the fact that he stopped her from kissing him. He wanted it so much more than she'd ever understand.

* * *

He's lying in his bed half sleep two hours later when his phone starts to beep. He reaches over and grabs his phone to see that Rachel had sent him a text.

_He was cheating on me with some bimbo from the Carmel High cheerleading squad._

Puck knew it all along, and he's kind of proud of himself that he can pin point cheaters. He sends her a text saying he's sorry and that she can come back over if she doesn't want to be alone.

Rachel replies very quickly.

_Actually I was kind of hoping you'd come over here. I thought we could not talk about these feelings we have for each other. My dad's aren't home._

Puck doesn't think he's ever ran out of his house any faster.


End file.
